THE ORIGINS OF MULE SNOT Back in about 1864 great-great-great granddaddy Thadeus was a fightin' fer the South. On this particular eve he wuz a runnin' fer his life with the Union soldiers hot on his trail. He had hot footed it across a couple of state lines and was movin' along pretty good. Ol' Thadeus had about run out of lung and turned to square matters with them pesky blue coats. He gave at it for a couple of hours with his dragoons until they wuz jest plum stove up with black powder fouling. Night wuz comin' on quick and great-great-great granddaddy gave it another run fer cover. It was a rainin' somethin' awful and Thadeus thought he wuz gonna give up the ghost before he could save his hide. Danged if he didn't stumble across a barn in the middle of a thick stand of trees. Ol' Thadeus took cover in the barn and by the light of the full moon found he wuz shacked with an old mule. Now Thadeus was soaked to the core and he took off his brace of dragoons to wring out his uniform. This mule was in dire straights, just one leg out of the sandy six foot hole. He wuz listin' to one side and a wheezin' pretty good. Them ol' eyes were sunk into his eye socket and them long ears were droopin' behind his jawbone. 'Bout the time Thadeus had wrung a bucketful from his coat the mule went a hackin' and wheezin' and gave up about his last bray. Thadeus knew this wuz sure to bring on the Yanks and dove for the mule to hush him up. As great-great-great granddaddy closed in on the mule and grasped him by the snout, the mule gave up the damndest sneeze and let loose a volley of mucous and snot. This explosion of mule snot shot squarely onto Thadeus' brace of dragoons. Sure 'nuff the Yanks herd the rukus and came a runnin'. Thadeus grabbed up his Colts and to his amazement the black powder fouling and cake wuz a runnin' off them pistols like water off a duck’s back. Ol' Thadeus stove up them cylinders and capped off the nipples, threw on his belt and before he could jam them dragoons into them holsters, the Yanks came bustin' through the barn door. Thadeus gave them both barrels in a last ditch stand. Grabbin' that mule by the mane he swung up on its back and gave it the heels. The mule sprung from the ground like Pegasus and bounded out the wall of the barn to freedom. A giant bolt of lightning cracked down from the sky and let loose on the barnyard gate. That ol' mule was a runnin' fer his life and that of Thadeus. Them Yanks were left behind to sore foot it back to their camp. Thadeus kept that mule runnin' all the way back to Texas. Thadeus named the mule Lightnin' for obvious reasons, and Lightnin' was given the run of the ranch. Yep, that wuz the night MULE SNOT wuz born. Fer generations past and now present we been breedin' mules from Ol Lightnin's line to give us the best black powder cleaner around these parts. I'm pretty damned certain you'll agree that MULE SNOT will clean up yer black powder firearms lickety split. An' by the way, jest remember what my pappy told me, "Never let the truth stand in the way of a good story!" REMEMBER: NUTHIN' WORKS LIKE A MULE!!!! (Thanks to Mule Hide for this no doubt accurate tale.) |